Friday, 26 February 2010

Five Rules for Readers

Enough of didactic statements for us scribes; what about the ones on the business end of the writing food chain? They've had it far too easy for too long in my opinion. It's about time readers bucked up their ideas and obeyed some simple rules:

1. If you like a book, tell everyone. Get tee shirts printed. Give it five stars on Amazon. Write lovely things on Goodreads. Demand that your library stocks it and ask about it in a loud voice at Waterstones at least twice a day.

2. But don't lend your copy to anyone. Tell them to buy it themselves. Full price. No shirking.

3. If you don't like a book, don't ever ever ever tell anyone. Ever. Certainly don't post a bad review anywhere, because you will be personally responsible for the unhappiness of the author involved once their Google Alert picks it up.

4. If you're reading a book in public - for instance, on the tube - can you lift the cover up a bit? It's difficult for the writer sitting opposite you to tell if you're reading their book if you selfishly keep the cover in your lap.

5. Everyone is different. Everyone enjoys different things. If you didn't enjoy a book, try to bear in mind that it's your fault because you didn't understand it, and it bears no reflection on the writer. Who, by the way, worked really really hard on it and knows a lot more about it than you do.

As an aside, I hear there's a new punctuation mark available for sarcasm. I might have to invest in that.

6 comments:

Nik Perring said...

LOVED this!

Affy-Ann said...

That was wonderful! XD

Aliya Whiteley said...

Thank you!

Hagelrat said...

hahahaha brilliant.

Cat Connor said...

I agree with Hagelrat. :-)

Actually -this blog should be a tee shirt! Post those rules for all readers to see. :D

Alis said...

I think we should chip in for a billboard ad somewhere really public so everybody can see this post. Rules for readers, YES!!!
Loved the idea of a punctuation mark for sarcasm, btw!!