Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Toy Story Sucks

I think Pixar are amazing. I can watch A Bug's Life any time, and Wall-E was awesome. Finding Nemo has begun to grate just recently due to over-exposure (it became the Munchie's obsession briefly, but now she's fixated on spooky castles, thankfully, which is making a pleasant change.) but it's still a wonderful film. I'm prepared to admit that.

I just blooming hate Toy Story.

This feeling has been exacerbated by Toy Story 3, which I thought was awful. The dialogue is witty, the animation is perfect, and the voices are brilliant. But I can't get over the fact that it doesn't represent how a child relates to their toys. Children torture their toys. That's what they do. They throw them around and put things in their eyes and draw on them. They don't fondly say goodbye to them before they go to college. Do they? Or is this just me?

I remember pulling the head off my ballerina Sindy, and giving her a haircut, and dressing her up in Action Man clothes and throwing her down the stairs. But I don't think I was particularly aggressive as a child. I also gave her cuddles and stuff, but the good went with the bad. I didn't treat her like a person. I was trying things out on her, and that included being mean.

Kids should be mean to toys. They shouldn't be concerned as to whether that toy has feelings. They shouldn't have to be nice to toys just in case they are actually somehow alive.

I've taken this too seriously, haven't I? Well, I don't like the prescriptive element of Toy Story. Nice children don't blow up their toys, huh? I think they do. In fact, I think it's healthy to do so. So there.

And Toy Story 3 had a rubbish storyline too. It just rehashed Toy Story 2 with a smelly bear thrown in. *pokes out tongue*

12 comments:

C. N. Nevets said...

I've resisted the urge to watch any of the Toy Story movies and you've just made me even more grateful for that.

Also, I cannot abide Finding Nemo. I spent the entire movie waiting for something to happen, and it never did. The most boring movie experience I have ever had in my entire life.

Aliya Whiteley said...

Are you sure you weren't watching a fish tank by mistake? Those real fish don't offer much narrative excitement.

Tim Stretton said...

This won't surprise you, Aliya, but I set fire to a box containing some cherished toy dinosaurs.

The box was meant to represent a World War II bomber and the dinosaurs were the gallant aircrew. I set fire to the box and hurled it from an upstairs window, where it crashed flaming to the ground. Not at all unlike a Lancaster bomber downed by Messerschmitts.

By the time I got to the ground, the box was well and truly aflame, and by the time I extinguished it, several of the crew were severely melted. Not that it put me off fire...

I loved those little critters, so I think that proves your thesis.

Aliya Whiteley said...

Thanks for the corroborating evidence, bomber-command!

Andy said...

I admit it - I'm a fan of Toy Story. Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, etc.) wrote the original script and I think he got an award for it. I've also heard that Buzz Lightyear's story (in the original) is an atheist parable on the path a believer takes to skepticism.

However, I see your point in this manner: if you can't buy the premise of the film then you won't enjoy the movie. I dislike the premise to The Full Monty and Grease; ergo I dislike both films.

Aliya Whiteley said...

That's it exactly, Andy, and I think it's the problem with the high concept movie. If you hate the concept rhe whole movie is never going to work for you. I get really fed up of plots that can be explained in one sentence.

But I love the idea of Buzz's journey being an atheist parable. And I love Buffy and Firefly. Hm.

Frances Garrood said...

I've only seen snippets of Toy Story - courtesy of grandchildren - and absolutely hated it. But then they're not really toys, are they?

Abi said...

After watching Toy Story the other day, I did start to feel slightly concerned at some of my son's treatment of his toys; he's fickle with his affections to say the least and most of his games involve both Iggle Piggle and Upsay Daisy being flung across the room at the wall.

The thing I always found oddest about Toy Story was that Woody was the favourite; I can't see any child liking him, not without a major movie franchise to back him up anyway..

Aliya Whiteley said...

Good for your son! Iggle Piggle's okay, but Upsy-Daisy annoys the bejesus out of me.

Neil George Ayres said...

Daisy dooowoooooooooo

Sorry, couldn't help myself.

C. N. Nevets said...

I find the fish in my real aquarium more compelling characters than those in Nemo.

Perhaps it was let-down because it was just so hyped to me, but, yah, I was less bored watching Spock spacewalk for 23 minutes in Star Trek: TMP.

Aliya Whiteley said...

Good animation does not a good story make. Although we could all go and watch Studio Ghibli films instead and have a good story with good animation.