Thursday, 23 October 2008

Inconvenience store

Waitrose. Website. Is. Rubbish.

I work pretty much half of my living online. Yet I can't even work out how to register on the site. Surely Ocado could have given the old grey-hairs at Waitrose just a smidgen of guidance on designing a decent ecommerce website. Idiots. I'm tempted to look at the LIDL site and compare the experience! Gah and indeed Fah!

We don't all have veggieboxes delivered direct to our door see, even if we try very hard to get them! How many exclamation marks? Aliya will be so proud.

Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Ooh, look, I made a meme. It's called 'Secret Vice'

Not as exciting as it sounds. Mine's Holby City.

I have respect for soap writers. They are much maligned, like soap actors in fact. Sure there are rubbish ones (yes, I'm so looking at you Hollyoaks). But for the main part they do a hard and dirty job.

But Holby City, oh, a diamond in the rough. Sure some situations are so absurdly contrived, but kind of brilliantly.

So, what's your secret vice? Erm, oh yeah, who to tag? Let's go with Ian, Nik, Alis, David and Fiona.

Thursday, 16 October 2008

Veggie Books: Fat

I'm talking a Raymond Carver short story, and a baked potato with sour cream.

Fat summons up the gradual passing of time, and the subtle changes that happen within us, within around 1,000 words. Most 100,000 word epics struggle with that.

The narrator tells a friend about her day at work last Wednesday. She's a waitress, and on the day in question the most obese man she has ever seen enters her cafe. He starts off ordering the soup, the salad, extra bread, pork chops, and the aforementioned baked potato. He is embarrassed about the amount he eats, but the waitress is friendly to him and he relaxes. The kitchen staff are rude about him, and also her other half who is the chef, and she defends him.

It's not as if a lot happens:nothing that can really be described as a plot, anyway. But it's mesmerising. Here's the final paragraphs:

It is August.

My life is going to change. I feel it.

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Sesame Street was brought to you...

In case you hadn't noticed, Sam Hayes is doing wonderful things with the alphabet and the writers' life over on her blog.

Saturday, 11 October 2008

Good day at the office, dear?

Admittedly, been a bit busy at work lately, but things haven't got quite this bad yet.

Friday, 10 October 2008

Get outta town, buddy

I'm AWOL for two weeks and get replaced by a cheap computer. Charming.

Tis true, I have been reading Ian's novel, but the reason for my absence has been much more prosaic. Work. Lots of it. Big dents made. Chin up. Top lip stiff, what. Normal service resuming...

Talking of Ian's book--which he terms a 'technothriller'--it's interesting how many parallels can be drawn between it and ours. Both are set in modern day. (Well, his is in 2003, but you know what I mean), and both have something sciency and untoward going on. Though his science is probably a tad stronger than ours. And both have one naive young woman for a protagonist who has a complicated connection to a much haughtier and ostensibly more clued-up partner. And there are superhuman killings a-plenty. And both books dash about the globe as if it's much smaller than it is. All we need is a manifesto and by jove we have a movement, albeit an unpublished one.
No penguins in Ian's book though. Sorry, Tim.